In my previous posts about Middle School I have shared about how I have been blessed with quite independent kids. I had promised a post about how I went about to encourage independence in my children. Here it is finally!
First off I have to say that some kids are naturally independent, and in this case it is quite easier to cultivate that. With others, it is a bit more difficult and requires intentionality and being more aggressive about it.
When you have kids who have learned to be independent and to own their learning, they end up being kids that do their school work, even if mom forgot to write a subject on the list of to do for that day.
Here are a few steps I took in developing independence in the boys.
Give them freedom - the first step is to gradually give them freedom in how they want the school day to go. Involve them in the decision making of what subjects to do each day and in the order as well.
Build trust - the kids need to know that you trust them and expect them to do what is right. This goes a long way.
Keep them accountable - Since they had input on how things will go, keep them accountable to follow through with the final decision. You will need to be continually checking that they are doing what they should be doing, some kids more than others.
Consequences - Have consequences set in place for unfinished work. Set goals and have consequences for unmet goals.
TV and video game rules - I have found that TV and Video games are one of the biggest distraction to finished work. That is why I have a rule of no video games on school days, and TV only goes on when school is finished. .
Breaks and distractions - I do not know about you, but I have a child that gets constantly distracted. His mind goes all over the place. With him I have found that the best way to help him is to set targets during the day, schedule breaks, and check on him every so often on his progress. Basically be a cheerleader.
Encourage and commend initiative - When the kids come up with an idea on how to improve how to do their school, consider it. Encourage the fact they are thinking and care about their school work and learning.
Involve dad - I have found that having dad chime in helps a great deal! When he sets the goals and standards somehow they get more motivated to get it done. So, might as well tap into that!
So there you have it! Hope you find it helpful!
First off I have to say that some kids are naturally independent, and in this case it is quite easier to cultivate that. With others, it is a bit more difficult and requires intentionality and being more aggressive about it.
When you have kids who have learned to be independent and to own their learning, they end up being kids that do their school work, even if mom forgot to write a subject on the list of to do for that day.
Here are a few steps I took in developing independence in the boys.
Give them freedom - the first step is to gradually give them freedom in how they want the school day to go. Involve them in the decision making of what subjects to do each day and in the order as well.
Build trust - the kids need to know that you trust them and expect them to do what is right. This goes a long way.
Keep them accountable - Since they had input on how things will go, keep them accountable to follow through with the final decision. You will need to be continually checking that they are doing what they should be doing, some kids more than others.
Consequences - Have consequences set in place for unfinished work. Set goals and have consequences for unmet goals.
TV and video game rules - I have found that TV and Video games are one of the biggest distraction to finished work. That is why I have a rule of no video games on school days, and TV only goes on when school is finished. .
Breaks and distractions - I do not know about you, but I have a child that gets constantly distracted. His mind goes all over the place. With him I have found that the best way to help him is to set targets during the day, schedule breaks, and check on him every so often on his progress. Basically be a cheerleader.
Encourage and commend initiative - When the kids come up with an idea on how to improve how to do their school, consider it. Encourage the fact they are thinking and care about their school work and learning.
Involve dad - I have found that having dad chime in helps a great deal! When he sets the goals and standards somehow they get more motivated to get it done. So, might as well tap into that!
So there you have it! Hope you find it helpful!
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